An Endless Winter

This feeling is quite new
It’s not as if I meant it
Or even understand it
But still it lingers

Lingers like a sickness
That cripples my daily life
For I cannot quite ignore it
No matter how I try

And all the while I do not understand
What it is or where it came from
I could call it heartbreak
As I do everything else

But this time it feels like more
More than the usual dull pain
With added numbness that consumes me
With added fear that makes my insides boil
With all my nerves becoming restless
With all my thoughts surrounding it
A fog that can’t be lifted
A cloud that will not blow away
A rainy day that never ends
An endless winter

And still I do not understand